I need to find myself

I want to go in a journey to find myself. When I first moved to Vegas on my own I thought it was the perfect way to become independent, to know what’s it like to be a grown up and to figure what I want to do with myself. I was wrong, I’ve made more enemies than friends and the only people who used to like me think I’ve become some sort of wanna be Alpha Male of some sort. I need to run away. A good friend of mine offered me to go with him on a trip to Thailand a couple months back and every day that idea sounds better and better. I don’t want to become a corporate slave of some sort like my father did his entire life, I want to know the meaning of my existence and what I want to do out of it, I want to know what’s out there in the real world. I’d like to know why I was put on this earth. I want to know that there’s a reason why I didn’t took my life when I was younger, I want to know I matter.